Kristen, 18, NSW

I was only a little girl, i had so many plans for my future, then one person, one incident changed my whole life.

I was 14 years old, it was my best friends dad. He sexually assaulted me at her home. I had known her family for 5 years before it happened, i stayed at her house all the time, we did everything together, he was like my second dad. He used to do small things, like stand and stare at us when we were in the loungeroom watching movies. He would always be the one to watch us when we were young and went swimming. I never thought anything of it, i thought he was just a caring dad. But he wasn't. He tore my life apart, i was broken, broken into a thousand tiny pieces. After the assault i never told anyone, not a single soul for a year. Then i realised that i needed to open up, because my thoughts were getting the better of me and i needed help. I confided in my school teacher, and from then on things started getting more serious. I took my abuser to the police, he was arrested and charged and then the legal process started. Though my thoughts soon got the better of me, and at times i couldnt cope. I had tried 3 times to commit suicide, and after the third attempt i was admitted into a psychiatric hospital. I spent a few days in there and was put on medication, things slowly started getting better, but at times i felt myself sliding back into old habits of binge drinking, drug taking and once again i had tried to kill myself. Then the sentencing day for my abuser had come, a wave of emotions rushed through me as i seen him at the court house, though my counsellor and teacher were there to keep me grounded. He was sentenced to three months in jail, at first it didnt seem like enough, i was furious and so upset, still to this day (4 months after sentencing) it doesnt seem enough, i hate the fact that hes now out of jail walking free, but i know i have put a stamp on his record and that wont ever go away, so if he does to this to other innocent little girls then his punishment next time will be much more severe. I am well into the healing process now, and things are definitely getting better, i still see my counsellor once a week and each week i reach a new milestone on my journey. I have recently graduated from school. I have a applied for the army, however i had to put my application on hold due to my medication. Things are looking up, and i can say now, i was in a very dark place not too long ago. I had honestly given up, but i know now how many amazing things this earth has to offer, and im going to make sure im around to experience everything life throws my way. I was and vulnerable, however now i am strong and i know i can handle anything that is put in front of me. I hope my story helps anyone that feels like there is nothing worth living for, because i can assure you now, there is always something. Stay strong!!