Salma, 12, VIC

Home, Work or friends?

I am Salma and I am the girl version of Hamlet, pulled in all different directions, not knowing just what to do. It's really hard to explain ALL of the problems I have in my life, but here are the three main concepts.

Firstly, family... Well, my home has always changed, whether it be from Mum to Dad, Dad to Mum, from home to house, house to home. I'm torn between two different people, two different worlds. (Some of you would have an idea of what I'm going through here, I'm sure! Some of you, maybe not.) I am living with mum at the moment, having just come from my father's place. This is common and happens at least once a year or 6 months. I feel guilty with either of them and feel like running away every day. Then, my parents don't have to go through all the pain of making either of them unhappy or feel as though I don't love them. I hate letting people down.

 Next, work... I am a 12 year old in year 7. I am in my first year of high school. Not to make myself seem all, like, up myself, but I am really bright. I love to do good work, but I get distracted and am not very organized. Another thing is that I am not able to do many things, as my father is a bit controlling and doesn't like any 'out of school activities'. This is holding me back from meeting new people and trying new experiences. Also he gets a low income and the money that he does get he spends on necessities and other things that I don't know about. He is very secretive.

And finally, friends ... I am quite an “out-there”, loud and strange sort of girl. Nobody really gets me. They are sort of all wrapped up in the fact that they don't have that new lip gloss, or that their parents have docked their allowance to just $50 p/w. It's like they don't even get the meaning of friendship. But I can't blame it all on them, because I know that I am quite a weird and hard to get person. I apparently don't know how to present myself and talk to others without making them think that I am a small freak. I wish that they would actually understand how hard it is for some people.

So now I guess you known that it is really hard to have to do all these things without being a normal rich kid. I feel as though I cannot be myself, and as a result, I hide myself from everyone but my Mother. But I have one person other person I can rely on; my good friend Georgia. She has been my best friend since the second I was born. I wish that there were more people like her, who get the way I am, even love the way I am and my personality. But for now I have to deal with it and learn from my experiences. And talk to people like my Mum, Georgia, my school counsellor and all those understanding people. I know that I can get past this and get on with my life, but first I have to make some changes to my life.