Even if you are worried that you may be interfering, sometimes
it's important to give people a hand to get help because they may
not be well enough to get it for themselves.
If you have a friend you are concerned about or who wants help
and assistance for mental health or alcohol and other drug issues,
it is important to know that there are many different types of help
available, and they do work.
Getting help can take a bit of time and effort but it is worth
it. Good help will assist your friend to deal with their problems
and get back to their normal life. It's important to keep in mind
that your friend may need to try more than one type of help as
everyone is different and what works for one person may not work
for another.
Things you might be worried about
You might be worried about changes in your friend's mood,
behaviour or thinking. For example, they might have usually been
happy, but are now moody and withdrawn. They might sleep all day
but find it hard to sleep at night. They might be hearing or seeing
things that aren't there, or be crying all the time and seem really
'down'.
You might also be worried about your friend's actions, like
their use of alcohol or drugs or their sexual behaviour.
Where to start
If you feel comfortable talking to your friend about your
concerns, this is the place to start. Let them know what is
worrying you and how you would like to help them. Explain to them
that many people like to talk with someone outside the situation
such as a teacher, counsellor or doctor as they can offer a
different perspective.
You can also talk to them about phoning help lines like Kids
Helpline - 1800 55 1800 and Lifeline - 13 11 14, which are
anonymous and confidential to discuss your concerns.
If you are really concerned about someone then you could also
talk to their family or other adults who are important in their
life. You'll have to strike the right balance between your friend's
right to privacy and the need to make sure they are safe.
Getting information and finding out what services are
around
There are a lot of services that can help you and your friend.
If you are unsure where to go you might want to:
- Contact your local headspace centre, see the headspace help and
other help sections of the headspace website
- Ask teachers, school counsellors, family members, or family
friends
- See your local GP
- Contact your local council and ask what youth services are in
your local area
- The next step is to contact the service to make an appointment.
Often it's worth asking if they offer a "drop in" service so you
don't need to make an appointment. Remember you can ring
anonymously and still get the information.
Contacting a service
When you contact a service the first person you talk to will
probably be a receptionist, 'intake' or 'duty worker' who will ask
a range of questions to find out more about your friends'
situation. You can also ask as many questions as you want to find
out what kind of help they can offer.
This is a good time to get your friend to do some of the
talking. You might sit with them as they arrange a time, and you
might even go with them to their first appointment if they want you
to, but it is important that it is their decision to get help.
Sometimes you might have to try more than one service to get the
right sort of support. Encourage your friend to hang in there and
keep trying. Remind them that help is available.
What if my friend doesn't want help?
Some people need some 'time' or 'space' before they're willing
to accept help. Just giving them information about where to get
help can be useful.
Using the internet to read stories about other young people who
have made it through difficult times might help reduce their
feelings of isolation and give them hope for the future.
The best help you can give is to continue being a good friend.
Listen, and show that you support them. But remember to look after
yourself and your needs as well, as it can be very stressful when a
friend has major problems.
Staying safe
If you are worried that your friend needs urgent medical help or
might hurt themselves or somebody else, you need to tell somebody
immediately, even if they have asked you not to. This could be a
parent, teacher, their doctor, or someone from a local health
service.
If you think it's very urgent, ring for an ambulance or the
police on 000.